When this is published, it will be on the 20th
Anniversary of the release of Sarah McLachlan’s 3rd studio album
“Fumbling Towards Ecstasy.” That was the album that essentially catapulted her
out of the relative obscurity of being a small venue player to headlining in the
big arenas. For me, it was the album that TRULY introduced me to the musical
majesty that is unique to her.
I had heard Sarah’s music a few times before FTE, or
“Fumbling,” as long-time fans refer to it. I sampled “Touch” when it was a
featured selection of the month at the SoundWarehouse I always went to for my
latest music fix and thought it had some potential. She kind of reminded me of
Kate Bush in the vocal styling, but I passed on it because I felt it wasn’t my
cup of tea at that time. Later, when I listened to “Solace,” I thought that
some of the songs did sound familiar, but wasn’t sure from where. I assumed I
had heard them on the radio a time or two, but couldn’t swear to it.
Then, FTE was released. The first single, “Possession” came
on with a slow burn and started moving up the charts. A friend of mine really
liked the song, so I bought the CD and the single as a possible birthday gift.
I just hadn’t decided which one I would give yet.
To make spending money in college, I was working for a
company that provided security for concerts around town. It was a few days
before my friend’s birthday and I just so happened to be working Sarah’s concert
at a smaller venue in town called the Tower Theater. So, I took the CD single
and thought that maybe, just maybe, if the opportunity presented itself, I
would try and get it signed (which was against the rules, by the way) to make
it a better birthday present. When I arrived at the show, I was posted at a
secondary backstage entrance that was just off the stage, which afforded me a
great view of the amazing event I was about to experience.
Music, in general, has the ability to find a way into you
and make you feel... something, for lack of a better term, life changing.
That's what happened when I heard her perform for the first time. When the show
started, I was amazed. Yes, she was beautiful. Yes, it had a good light
show. But that wasn’t it. The passion, the emotion, the sensuality and
strangely, the humility. This was a woman pouring herself out for everyone to
partake. And everyone did, not in an avaricious way, but in way that said, ”We’ll
take what you offer gratefully and appreciatively.”
When the concert was over, I literally felt changed inside.
I was mentally pushing every person out of the theater so that I could leave my
post. I bought a tour book from the “Solace” tour, because I didn’t have enough
money to buy the FTE book, and headed backstage. When I saw her talking to other people and
signing stuff, I did a double take. This couldn’t be the same person, but it
was. On stage, her hair was down and wore a long dress, but backstage, her hair
was in pigtails and she was wearing silver hot pants! I patiently waited for everyone else to speak
with her and it was finally my turn. She was gracious and signed my tour book
and the CD from my friend. I thanked her and told her how much I enjoyed her
performance and she thanked me back, then we went our separate ways.
I gave my friend the signed CD single, but there was NO WAY
I was giving up the full album. If it were possible to wear out a CD from
playing it too much, I would have done it several times. I did replace the jewel case a few times
though.
FTE carried me through some rough emotional times. I think
what really did it was that feeling that I wasn’t only one feeling that way,
that there was someone else out there who had felt similarly and had made it
out the other side, battered but unbowed. I’ve even offered it up as something
to possibly help several friends who were going through similar experiences.
Nowadays, while I have all of her albums, several DVDs and do
have some favored songs from other albums, FTE is still my go-to when I need a
Sarah Mac fix. Every time I hear it, it still takes me back to that night and
the magic I experienced.
