20 Years of Fumbling

When this is published, it will be on the 20^th Anniversary of the release of Sarah McLachlan’s 3^rd studio album “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy.” That was the album that essentially catapulted her out of the relative obscurity of being a small venue player to headlining in the big arenas. For me, it was the album that TRULY introduced me to the musical majesty that is unique to her.

I had heard Sarah’s music a few times before FTE, or “Fumbling,” as long-time fans refer to it. I sampled “Touch” when it was a featured selection of the month at the SoundWarehouse I always went to for my latest music fix and thought it had some potential. She kind of reminded me of Kate Bush in the vocal styling, but I passed on it because I felt it wasn’t my cup of tea at that time. Later, when I listened to “Solace,” I thought that some of the songs did sound familiar, but wasn’t sure from where. I assumed I had heard them on the radio a time or two, but couldn’t swear to it.

Then, FTE was released. The first single, “Possession” came on with a slow burn and started moving up the charts. A friend of mine really liked the song, so I bought the CD and the single as a possible birthday gift. I just hadn’t decided which one I would give yet.

To make spending money in college, I was working for a company that provided security for concerts around town. It was a few days before my friend’s birthday and I just so happened to be working Sarah’s concert at a smaller venue in town called the Tower Theater. So, I took the CD single and thought that maybe, just maybe, if the opportunity presented itself, I would try and get it signed (which was against the rules, by the way) to make it a better birthday present. When I arrived at the show, I was posted at a secondary backstage entrance that was just off the stage, which afforded me a great view of the amazing event I was about to experience.

Music, in general, has the ability to find a way into you and make you feel... something, for lack of a better term, life changing.  That's what happened when I heard her perform for the first time. When the show started, I was amazed. Yes, she was beautiful. Yes, it had a good light show. But that wasn’t it. The passion, the emotion, the sensuality and strangely, the humility. This was a woman pouring herself out for everyone to partake. And everyone did, not in an avaricious way, but in way that said, ”We’ll take what you offer gratefully and appreciatively.”

When the concert was over, I literally felt changed inside. I was mentally pushing every person out of the theater so that I could leave my post. I bought a tour book from the “Solace” tour, because I didn’t have enough money to buy the FTE book, and headed backstage.  When I saw her talking to other people and signing stuff, I did a double take. This couldn’t be the same person, but it was. On stage, her hair was down and wore a long dress, but backstage, her hair was in pigtails and she was wearing silver hot pants!  I patiently waited for everyone else to speak with her and it was finally my turn. She was gracious and signed my tour book and the CD from my friend. I thanked her and told her how much I enjoyed her performance and she thanked me back, then we went our separate ways.

I gave my friend the signed CD single, but there was NO WAY I was giving up the full album. If it were possible to wear out a CD from playing it too much, I would have done it several times.  I did replace the jewel case a few times though.

FTE carried me through some rough emotional times. I think what really did it was that feeling that I wasn’t only one feeling that way, that there was someone else out there who had felt similarly and had made it out the other side, battered but unbowed. I’ve even offered it up as something to possibly help several friends who were going through similar experiences.

Nowadays, while I have all of her albums, several DVDs and do have some favored songs from other albums, FTE is still my go-to when I need a Sarah Mac fix. Every time I hear it, it still takes me back to that night and the magic I experienced.

Really!?! You've got to be kidding me!

Did you read the title of this post? No? Well, do it now. Go ahead, I'll wait. Got it? Good, let's move on. That is exactly what I'm saying to myself right at this moment.

You see, after all of my talk in the previous post about needing to let stuff out of my head, I now find myself in the position of having no clue what I want to write about.  It's not necessarily that I have nothing to say, but more to the point, that I have too much I would like to say and have no clue where to start.

This has always been my biggest issue when it comes to writing. So, I've decided that I'm just going to go with the stream of consciousness approach and see what, if anything, comes pouring out and go from there. Wish me luck. Here goes ...

(Many minutes later)

Well, that was a bust. I'm going to take a few to get my shit together and try this again later.

(Meanwhile, back at the ranch...)

Okay, that last bit was typed a few days ago.  A lot of shit has been going down with me lately and I've been distracted. No excuses, just stating facts. Let's move on.

As a proud American, I am pleased to announce that my all-time favorite musicians (band & solo) are ... Canadian.  There!  I've said it. Don't judge me! It's not that I have this North-love thing going on. I mean, I live in Texas (Don't mess with me!) where "North" is practically a four-letter word. Yes, I know it's five letters, but that's not the point and you know it. It's truly just a happenstance thing that they are both from the Great White North (They're going to make me wash my mouth out with soap if I keep this up.).

I was introduced to the musical gods that are RUSH, when I was a freshman in high school and I've been a devotee ever since. Why I love RUSH so much may become the subject of a future entry, so I'll just leave it alone after this one thing.  Neil Peart, the drummer for the band, recently had his 61st birthday and you would never know it by how he plays. Some would say that he is not one of the best drummers in the world and I openly scoff at these people. Why, you may ask? The man plays actual music on his drum kit. And by "actual music," I mean that what he plays has tone quality, rises and falls, movement. His "voice" is an integral part of everything that RUSH plays, not just a keeping of the beat for the other two members. The end, for now.

The other Canadian to which I pledge my musical fealty is the exquisite songstress, Sarah McLachlan. The best way to describe why I love her work is that it's a spiritual connection. Actually, I think I'm going to stop there and this will be future entry as well.

Looks like I'm starting to get a handle on some of the flotsom floating around inside my head. That makes me a little happy and more confident that I might be on the right track here. That being said, I guess I'll sign off now.

I'm going to try different sign-offs, let me know which ones you like. 

See you in the funny papers.

And we're off! Baby steps...

I've been wanting to do this for a while now and finally got the nerve to just do it.  But, why would I do such a thing?  Posting my inner most thoughts and feelings out there for everyone to see and judge is a REALLY big decision to make.  Well, I've come to that point in my life where I just don't care about that kind of self-defeating crap anymore.  My personal priorities have changed.  A LOT. 

Two and a half years ago, my wife and I had our first child.  I know everyone who has children always says things like, "Your life is so much better after you have kids," or, "My kids are the greatest gift," and to be honest, I was one of those people who always stuck a finger down my throat and made retching noises, metaphorically speaking, when I heard statements like this.  That being said, since my daughter was born, I have to recant all those those previous sentiments.  My daughter is the greatest thing I (and my wife, too) have ever done.  Greater than been on stage and feeling the adulation of the audience, greater than finally graduating from college, greater than getting married.  Although, that last one did play some small part in her creation, but I digress. With children, your life focus changes SO MUCH.  It shifts your views about what is important, what is not and what soft drink is really the best. Dr.Pepper, BTW.

Wow, that last paragraph really got away from me didn't it?  Anyway, moving on.  Ever since I stopped teaching private music lessons, I have been feeling my creative side fighting harder and harder to assert itself. As someone who was and/or is a musician, thespian, graphic artist and web designer, there is quite a bit of creative stuff that wants to come out.  I've always been a fairly decent writer.  I did get my degree in Journalism, after all.  So, I decided that writing a blog might be a good way to release some of that creative pressure in my brain. 

Now that I've gotten all that out, what is this blog going to be about?  Is it going to have a theme?  Is it going to come out on a regular basis?  Is it going to be about any of my hobbies or interests?  Is it going to be ramblings about my daughter and soon-to-be son?  Is it actually going to be any good?  Is it going to always make sense?  The answers are: Stuff; That's the plan; Maybe; Sure; Definitely; Hopefully; and Probably not.  That should give you a good idea of you can look forward to here.

Oh yeah, about the title.  The comma is optional.  Some will get it, some won't.  Hope you like what you find here.  Let me know either way.